I was taking a tour of some kind of coast guard refitting facility where they were fixing up patrol boats just back from Iraq. These wessels were about 50' in length and were being dry docked floating on huge barrels, three barrels under each hull.



We were getting the full Military inspection and doing mock drills, walking the Gunwales and being called to duty stations. Everything was desert camo, the ships, our clothes, the water and inside of the dock facility. Suddenly the guy next to me fell in the water while we were doing a drill and started drowning as he bounced off of one of the barrels before hitting the water and was knocked out.



Thinking (?) fast, I grabbed a fire extinguisher and jumped in with him and filled his clothes with CO2 so he would float, then used him as a raft to get us back around to the lower part of the dock so they could pull him out.



While they tried to resuscitate him, I was eating ice cream bars pulled out of my pockets due to being exhausted from this ordeal.


When the commander came to see what the outcome was he saluted me for my quick thinking and wanted to know where I learned to eat ice cream like a Marine. Then he invited me to help him tuck in his family for the night. After touring his house and putting the kiddies down we sat down on the dock to have some brandy and chat a while.


I dont know what happened to everyone else at this point, but there was only enough brandy for two, so I wasnt asking as I hadnt figured out how to pull brandy out of my pocket yet. During the course of conversation I asked the commander for a job, he politely but firmly told me that if I wanted to join the coast guard that I would have to sign up like everyone else.



I told him that I really didnt want to commit years of my life at this point, I just thought it would be cool to help fix up these cutters and get to drive them, and he then told me that I could. He said that some of these boats come back and never get sent into service again, but are stripped of their guns and are sold to the Colombian military as fishing boats and canal patrols, and if I wanted he could give me a good deal on one as they were going for scrap price.




So we struck up a deal and he gave me the keys to my wessel. Now these boats had jet drives like the PBR's had which was a good thing as I was full of brandy and ice cream and was rather uncoordinated. I backed my new baby off of the barrels and crashed directly into the other side of the channel, falling backwards off of the forward bridge.


The commander wasnt impressed but told me that it was OK and these boats had seen worse. "Just give it some boost" he yelled, which I did and got her unstuck.



The last thing I remember was cruising this huge jet boat around in some very narrow and shallow channels, tree limbs slapping off of the windshield and listening to the engines throb in sinc.

Dogwood acres

I have had this near recurring dream for the last year or so.





We bought a new house with some property, there was a second house at the back of the property that was in good shape, but we never used it for anything but storage and seldom went there. Every now and then I would decide (Remember) to go back there as there was a lot of equipment left there by the previous owner, a veritable cookie jar of Guy stuff.



Old chainsaws, new chainsaws, snowmobiles, stereo equipment all kinds of goods with one area gated off which I constantly forgot about and was happy to find when I went there as this is where the "Good Stuff" was. Now in these dreams I dont remember the house we lived in, just remembered there was this other house to go to and walked back there. It sat on the edge of a hill at the bottom of which was another garage where I was storing and forgetting I had stored some tractors. This I remembered about after going back to the house on occasion.


Always cool to find stuff you forgot about and enjoy!




These dreams took the same shape and followed similar formats the first 10 times or so that I had them, Id remember this treasure trove of goodies, go there and revel in my good fortune.

That is until the last time when things got.....Uh.....Weird?




This time it was night time.



I went through the same remembering about the house, going there and so forth, but when I got there, there was a party in the garage. So I went in and was like WTF people, this is my garage, you cant just come in here and have a party! And it was a weird party, Hippies, colored lights, smoke, drugs, A record player playing Jimmi hendrix, (The guitar scratch from Are you experienced") just too many people, all this going on inside this garage with all of my forgotten goodies.



So I demanded to know whose party it was, I got no response. Then I checked the gated part and found everything to be OK, but when I turned around the party had stopped and everyone was looking at me with this weird expression and they had a gray pallor about them. Then this kid comes up to me as Im walking around and yells "Hey man, my mom rents this place and you cant just come in and break up our party.




Then everything stopped and it was the next day.



It was grey and overcast and crappy, cold and damp. I walked back to the house only to find the front door open, so I walked in. There was a stiff breeze coming in every window and the curtains (white sheer) were blowing around, but the place smelled musty and damp.



I turned a corner to where the breakfast booth (?) was to find the kid sitting there, drapes blowing around him and sometimes partially obscuring him. I asked him where his mother was and what right they had to squat on my property, he just stared at me, he looked dead. He only said "You cant make us leave".



So I shouted "What f**king right do you have to be in my house with the windows and doors open"!!



To which he replied "Go to hell" and jumped out the window.




This freaked me out considerably, I felt cold and clammy. I looked out the window to see him talking with someone lying on the ground, it was a dog. At this point I was getting scared as it was a big dog and I felt it might be best if I left.



So I did.



It was hot now and unbearably humid with a horrible gray sky, dismal and no more breeze. Upon walking back to the house I noticed an unbearable stench and looked around and was shocked to find dead dogs in the trees, tens of them in different states of decay and all at different heights. These were big dogs, Rottweilers and dobermans, some bones, some still with fur. I had a certain scence of dread that I hadn't felt since I was a kid. That feeling where you know something is right behind you and is going to get you. But I couldn't help wondering how they got them up there.



I turned around and there is the kid, he looked normal now almost too neat and normal for the circumstances. I asked him why there was dog corpses in the trees, he replied that it was his mothers art and I couldn't kick them out for it. I ordered him to take them down, he would only say that they had a right to express their art and I couldn't do a thing about it. All the while talking with no emotion.



So I just started walking away, through these trees with dogs in them........

Welcome, enjoy my weird dreams and nightmares!!

Ill start this blog off with the Soldier under my bed.



I dont remember how it began, but in this dream I had a dead soldier under my bed. He was black and crusty from decay, but totally dried out like a mummy. Gross looking, but not disgusting as there was no smell or gooieness and he was light as a feather. I kept taking him out from under the bed and admiring him like some kind of trophy. He was holding an M16 like rifle across his chest and I wanted to get it off of him, but I couldn't. I remember being afraid he would stink as I had to get my face close to look at the rifle for a make/model and was having trouble reading as it was dark in my room.



I rember being afraid that my wife would find him and start asking questions (How many times have I told you not to bring dead soldiers in to the house!???!). Later in the dream I come home to find my room redecorated as a living room and my Brother and sister inlaw sitting in there with these weird looks on their faces. I asked the wife what she did with the soldier and she demanded to know where I got it and why I was hiding it.



At this point in the dream I remembered? conjured up? Imagined? That I had found him in about 3' of water near our old house with a screen door laying on top of him. This house had water on three sides and I had to explain what side of the house, why I was there, why I brought him home (Ill drag home anything), typical wifey questions. So I explained to her that I found him and wanted the gun, but couldnt remove it as he wouldn't let go. I also explained that I wanted to get rid of him but I was torn between giving him a respectful burial and having the cops find out about my having him and start asking a lot of questions I might not be able to answer.




So we decided the best thing to do was return him to where I found him. We snuck him down to where we used to live in the middle of the night and crept around the dark water towards the back of the house. I had to get down on my knees in about 3' of the blackest, stinkiest water and fish around for the screen door laying on the bottom that I found him under. I dont remember much else about what transpired in the dream. As creepy as this dream sounds, it seemed like a normal everyday situation while I was having it.